I never saw the first G. I. Joe movie, which perhaps was a good thing given that it took a substantial critical battering (though like fellow Hasbro stablemate Transformers, it still managed to make a tonne of money). The trailer for G. I. Joe Retaliation – didn’t do much to convince me – Guns! Explosions! Bigger guns! Bigger explosions! – but the chance to see Ray Stevenson in the flesh was too good to pass up. No doubt The Rock was the major draw for most people, but for me being a yard away from Titus Pullo on the red carpet was the highlight of the evening (if that name means nothing to you, do yourself a favour and order both seasons of HBO’s Rome right now).
As for G. I. Joe: Retaliation, it was . . . fine if you’re desperately waiting for the next Michael Bay film and need your fill of guns, explosions and ludicrous physics-defying action sequences in the meantime. The two separate storylines often made it feel like two different films, and to be honest I didn’t have a clue what was going on half the time. But let’s be honest, watching The Rock blowing stuff up while tossing out one-liners is kinda fun. Especially when he’s fighting Ray Stevenson.